Ice Cream Houses and Batmobiles


As I’ve mentioned before, I recently started a new job at a fancy pants restaurant in the tourist-y area of Orlando.  It’s my first restaurant job and I’m basically learning everything by doing everything.  I’m a host/food runner/serving trainee.

If the volume of learning wasn’t daunting enough, I’m now faced with a brand new cast of characters in the co-worker department.  Most (read “all”) don’t yet understand my strangeness.

Exhibit A:  Part of training to be a server involved trying the food that the restaurant serves.  That way, you can describe and recommend dishes to the guests.

Well, the 4 or 5 other trainees and I had just tried the “Chocolate Uprising.”  That’s two cinnamon chocolate brownies forming a sandwich around some vanilla bean ice cream.  The whole damn thing is topped with dark chocolate walnut fudge and served over a bed of caramel and chocolate sauce.  I know what you’re thinking…yes, there is a dinosaur-sized dollop of whipped cream on top.  Oh and don’t forget the shaved chocolate garnish.

My review:  “I want to build my house out of this.”

My peer’s reviews:  “Wait, what the hell did that guy just say?”

Readers, I’m not sure if you’ve ever found yourselves surrounded by people who think that building a house out of ice cream is a ridiculous idea or not.  It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemies.

“It would melt.”

“We live in Florida.”

“That would be a sticky mess.”

For starters, who in their right mind would build an entire house out of ice cream in Florida?  Construction would begin somewhere freezer-like, duh.  Think Alaska, or Siberia, or something.

Then there’s the explicit temporality of a house made of ice cream.  It’s not a real estate investment.  You don’t take out a 30 year mortgage on an ice cream house.  You eat that SOB.  Not all in one day (well, hopefully not), just over a couple of months or something.  Invite friends.  Ice Cream House Party at my place this Sundae.  BYO Whipped Cream.

I suppose it’s a miracle I’ve made it this long without ending up in some witch’s oven or something.

There are moments that I’ve shared with people that “get me” that really stand out when I find myself surrounded by “realistic” people.  My closest friends not only understand exactly what I mean when I say something this ridiculous, but they go along with it and encourage it.  As I shut up and simmered in my uncomfortable skin under the weight of their judging stares, I could only appreciate the people in my life that not only reserve judgement of my lunacy, but actually love it.

Here’s what one of them would have said:

“What would the frame of the ice cream house be made out of?”

To which I would have responded:  “Probably something sturdy and capable of holding up ice cream, like waffle cone.”

It could have gotten even better from there, but not with the lot at this table.

Exhibit B:  A conversation about people building houses out of strange things (freight containers, 747s, and dumpsters to be more specific) soon evolved into anecdotes of eccentric rich people.

Me:  “Forget the strange houses, if I was rich, I would just be Batman.  End of story.”

Silence.  Strange looks.

As if every right-minded person on the planet hasn’t wanted a Batmobile at some point in their life.  I don’t know if I’m getting too old to say such awesome things or what the deal is, but these people need to get on my level.

Note:  Things have improved dramatically after these first gaffes.  I think I just opened up a can of crazy at a somewhat inappropriate time.  I can’t help it.  I think it would be awesome to live in a house made of ice cream and I don’t care who knows it.



15 thoughts on “Ice Cream Houses and Batmobiles

  1. I am totally down to build an ice cream house with you! My kids would adore it and the hubby would love it! Chocolate waffle cone though…

    Chocolate is AMAAAAZZZIIINNNGGG! I could live in a house of chocolate too. If it melted on me, that’d be awesome. Who DOESN’T want chocolate on them?


    Let’s stop before this turns into one big sex joke…

  2. underwaterraven

    Personally my dream would be a chocolate house (like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) but I’m completely fine with ice cream too. I don’t particularly life waffle (don’t shoot me) but I could handle biscuit.

    To be honest if I had enough money I’d like to be Batman as well (or Batgirl?) but I think being a villain would be fun too. A cool villain though, not a dick like Bane or anything.

    • One of my favorite moments from the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film is when they’re in the room where everything is edible and Willy Wonka enjoys a daffodil that is a cup of tea and then he eats the cup afterwards. So freaking cool!

      I knew that this was a good story to share on the blog. It’s just baffling how little imagination some people have. I’m relieved to see that I’m not the only creative type that puts real thought into things like ice cream houses.

      I could definitely dig being a super villain too, I’m just not entirely sure what rules I would break to make me a bad guy haha. What kind of mayhem would you cause?

      Honestly I wouldn’t want to be Batman because I’m not huge on punching people in the face. I mostly just want a batmobile!

      • underwaterraven

        I don’t know what kind of havoc I’d cause. Nothing large-scale…maybe focus on one person at a time and drive them insane. But only to bad people of course…
        I just want Batman’s mansion to be honest. And all the gadgets. I’d have wild parties every night with Alfred.

      • I bet Alfred would have some crazy drinking stories!

        The more I think about it, the more I realize that I would break just about every single traffic law on the books if I had a batmobile. Would that make me a villain?

      • underwaterraven

        I think the coolness of the car would counteract any breaking of the law to be honest. The police would be like “Son you’ve just run a red light and killed an old lady.” And you’d say “Yeah but it’s a Batmobile” and then the police would be like “lol yeah fair point you’re off the hook have a good night”

      • As if I would let a cop pull me over in my batmobile. Batman’s vehicle of choice has seen many forms, but one thing has stayed (fairly) consistent: a freaking jet engine that shoots fire out of the back of the car when he really steps on the gas!

      • underwaterraven

        What if they threw down flak on the road? Or put up a blockade? Or asked you very nicely to pull over??

  3. I have a few plans and blueprints for your new interest in dairy dessert architecture.

    For starters, we MUST utilize the resource of dry ice. Secondly, with the “sunshine state” being a wonderful harvest for sun and energy, we have these…. (reaches into display box) ice cream sandwich solar panels.

    (Just a couple of ideas to begin this presentation.)

    • The solar panels are an excellent idea, but can they pass the hurricane standards?

      As for dry ice, that would serve a functional use as well as a stylistic one. I would have a cool fog drifting throughout the house!

      On a side note about dry ice, when I was in college some friends and I shot a short film that was basically two stoners on a couch. We put dry ice in some, umm, paraphernalia for smoky effects. What we ended up with was a constantly billowing water bong that was literally smoking itself. The ceaseless bubbling noise nearly ruined our audio, but it was a ridiculous effect so it was worth it!

      • Why yes they can, sir. Our solar sandwich panels patented astronomically adhesive stick tape can within winds from a free fall into the planet of 25,000mph, and has a heat tolerance up to 4,000 degrees. They range in a variety of colors. (haha)

        Now, this dry ice video might be one to search for on youtube…… dry ice is a funny, interesting piece of work for “research”. Did the ice damage anything to the “smoke machine” damaged during this audio/visual demonstration?

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